Sex toys are more popular than ever, but plenty of old myths still hang around. Here are eight we hear most often — and what's actually true.
1. "Toys are only for single people"
Lots of people in happy relationships use toys — solo and together. Toys add variety and new sensations; they don't replace a partner. Our couples' guide has ideas for sharing them.
2. "If my partner wants a toy, I'm not enough"
Wanting to try a toy usually says more about curiosity than about what's missing. Many bodies simply respond well to steady vibration that hands can't easily match. Talking about it openly helps — see how to talk about what you want.
3. "Vibrators will make you numb for good"
A long, intense session can leave you feeling a little numb for a while, but that sensitivity returns. Research on vibrator users has generally found vibrator use to be associated with positive sexual function rather than lasting harm. If you notice temporary numbness, take a break or switch to a lower setting.
4. "Using lube means something is wrong"
Not at all. Natural lubrication varies with hormones, mood, medication, hydration and more. Lube simply makes things smoother and more comfortable. Read our lube guide.
5. "Toys are only for people with vulvas"
There are toys for every body — rings, plugs, sleeves, wands and more. Rings like the Halo set are designed for penises, and many toys are made for sharing.
6. "All toys are basically the same"
Materials matter. Body-safe, non-porous materials like silicone and glass are easier to clean and better for sensitive skin than unlabelled "jelly" plastics. See our materials guide.
7. "Toys are complicated to use"
Most toys are simple: a button or two, a few settings. A small bullet like the Serein is about as easy as it gets. If you're unsure where to start, our match quiz takes a minute.
8. "Buying toys is embarrassing"
It doesn't have to be. Every Dearly Desire order arrives overboxed with a neutral sender name, and your bank statement shows a discreet name. Read exactly what arrives at your door.
Ready to explore? The Duet Box is a lovely way to start as a couple, and our Blush Boxes make choosing easy.
