Dildos are among the oldest and simplest pleasure toys there are: no buttons, no charging, just shape and feel. That simplicity is exactly why so many people love them. A dildo puts you in full control of depth, angle and rhythm. Here's how to start comfortably.
Choosing your first dildo
- Size: start smaller than you think. Comfort matters far more than size, and you can always explore further later.
- Shape: a gentle curve follows the body's natural shape and can make it easier to reach the front wall of the vagina.
- Material: choose a non-porous, body-safe material such as silicone or glass. Our materials guide explains why this matters.
Our Amour Silicone Dildo is made from soft, flexible silicone with a gently curved design, which makes it a comfortable first choice. It's also part of The First Blush Box.
Before you begin
- Wash it with warm water and mild soap.
- Set the mood. Relaxation and arousal make insertion much more comfortable, so take your time.
- Use lube generously. A water-based lube such as plusOne Aloe Glide is safe with silicone. Reapply whenever things feel less slippery.
Step by step
- Warm up with your hands, or by running the tip of the dildo along your vulva.
- Insert slowly, just the tip at first. Breathe out as you do.
- Pause and let your body adjust before going further.
- Explore angles. Pointing the curve towards your belly targets the front wall, where the G-spot area is.
- Find a rhythm. Try slow strokes, shallow movements, circles or simply holding it still while you touch your clitoris.
Positions to try
- On your back, knees bent: the easiest way to control depth and angle.
- A pillow under your hips tilts the pelvis and changes where the dildo presses.
- Kneeling or squatting lets you set the pace with your own body.
- On your side is relaxed and comfortable for longer sessions.
Adding more sensation
Many people enjoy combining internal and external stimulation. Use your fingers, or a small toy such as a bullet vibrator, on the clitoris at the same time. If you find you love both together, a rabbit vibrator does both in one.
Using a dildo with a partner
Handing the dildo to a partner can be intimate and exciting. Agree on a "slow down" signal, guide their hand at first, and keep talking about what feels good. Our couples' toy guide has more ideas for sharing toys.
A note on anal play
Only use toys with a flared base for anal play, because the base stops a toy from slipping too far inside. If you're curious about anal play, choose a toy designed for it, such as the Rosé Crystal Glass Plug, and read our beginner's guide to anal play. Never move a toy from anal to vaginal use without washing it first.
Cleaning and storage
Wash your dildo after every use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, let it dry fully, and store it in a soft pouch. Keep silicone toys from touching each other in storage.
Quick answers
What size dildo should a beginner choose?
Start with something slim and moderate in length. Comfort matters most, and a smaller size is easier to relax with.
Do I need lube with a dildo?
Yes, lube makes insertion more comfortable even if you're naturally lubricated. Use water-based lube with silicone toys.
Can I use any dildo for anal play?
No. Only use toys with a flared base for anal play, and choose one designed for it.
How do I clean a silicone dildo?
Wash it with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, rinse well, and let it air-dry before storing.
